Saturday, August 15, 2009

Ever wonder what a 9-1-1 call would be like under Govt Health Care?

9-1-1 Phone Call “Public Option” style--

“Hello. Thank you for calling your Government Health Care Hotline, where your health is our primary concern.
To speak to someone in English, press one
Para hablar con alguien en español, pulse dos
Pour parler à quelqu'un en français, appuyez sur trois”

(1)

"Thank you. You have indicated that you wish to speak in English. If this is correct, press one. Otherwise, press 4 to return to the prior menu."

(1)

"Thank you. To ensure that we have the correct contact information, please enter your ten digit telephone number including your area code. For example, 5555555555."

(8508508500)

"We’re sorry. We didn’t receive that. Please reenter your 10 digit telephone number including your area code. "

(8508508500)

"Thank you. If you are a hospital or health care facility, please press one. If you are a nurse, please press two. If you are a doctor, press three. If you are a patient, press four. If you are calling on behalf of someone else and are not a hospital, nurse, or doctor, please press 5. "

(5)

"Thank you. If you are calling to request assistance with an accident involving a vehicle, press 1. If you are calling to request assistance with any other accident, press 2. If you are calling to request assistance with a pregnancy, press 3. If you are calling to request assistance with food poisoning, press 4. If you are calling to request assistance with any other poisoning, please press 5. If you are calling to request assistance with a stroke, please press 6. If you are calling to request assistance with a heart attack or other immediate life threatening situation, please press 0."

(0)

"I’m sorry. All of our representatives are busy at this time. Please hang up and call back again later. (click)”

Kathleen Lamarche
Author of THE PLOT, award winning suspense thriller--"The novel for our time"
http://tinyurl.com/klm-web

5 comments:

carl brookins said...

Cute, but the fact is 911 calls ARE handled by the government now.
And generally, quite well, thank you.

The Sage of Tampa said...

Any of us who have ever dealt with any governmental agency know that your scenario is, unfortunately, too true. In fact it is often even more grim than that, just try calling Social Security. And worse yet, try to figure out their 'online' assistance. As usual Kat you've nailed it. Keep up the good work.

Dennis said...

You did indeed nail it.I think Carl missed the point.

Norm Cowie said...

Funny, I get the same kind of runaround trying to call customer assistance for any American company.

All of these 'customer service' type jobs were shifted to India due to tax breaks set up by your favorite party.

Norm

sanjeet said...

And worse yet, try to figure out their 'online' assistance. As usual Kat you've nailed it. Keep up the good work.

Work from home India